


If I could Love Again

by chenlemyeon



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Eventual Romance, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-07 09:19:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13431693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chenlemyeon/pseuds/chenlemyeon
Summary: after 2 years in relationship, Yuta decides to break up with Taeyong without wordthen 3 years later, they meet again





	If I could Love Again

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nayong127](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nayong127/gifts).



> okay, quick disclaimer, hansol basically married with fictional woman, so if you searching her name in google, you'll probably end up found anime's character lmao
> 
> well then, enjoy!

It was night, a cold winter night. Taeyong just done practicing for his upcoming show. Being dancer is always being Taeyong’s favourite profession, it’s his dream. He’s been dedicating his life for this job since his first year in college. From passed the audition (vs 200 other participants), get in and out of hospital due to his injuries, practicing until dawn, until he can debut with the team. He of course doesn’t want to give up this job, at all.

As he done say bye to his teammates and his coach, he’s ready to go back to his apartment. He checks his watch; the time is showing 10.43pm. He wraps his body in quite thick coat, along with the scarf. He steps out of the training place, then walks on the side road to his place. It takes 10-15 minutes until he actually reaches his place, the one he shares with Doyoung.

“Oh, you’re back?”, says Doyoung who sits on the couch with a mug of tea in his hand.

Taeyong take off his shoes then his coat and scarf. Then he walks to the kitchen, getting himself another mug of warm tea. Doyoung in the living room laughs to the show on the screen, which is clearly seen by Taeyong.

“What do you watch?”, Taeyong take a seat beside Doyoung.

He sips a bit of the tea as he focusing on the tv. It’s the SNL, one of Doyoung’s favourite shows. The actor yelled to the actress in front him as he throws a plate of whipped cream. Taeyong smiles a bit then cracked up, he laughs loudly.

**_You got a new message!_ **

Taeyong’s phone buzzing silently on his pants’ pocket. He takes out his phone to check the sender of the message. He unlocks it and found out Yuta texting him

**_From : yukkuri_ **

**_Hey~_ **

**_I wanna ask you smth_ **

**_Wanna break up?_ **

Taeyong almost drops his mug, seeing those messages. What on earth is Yuta thinking? What the actual fuck is going on with him?

**_To : yukkuri_ **

**_Break up?_ **

**_May I ask you why?_ **

Taeyong quickly typed the message and replies Yuta. His hands are sweating, his body shivers. He tries to breath properly as he processes things.

**_From : yukkuri_ **

**_I just think that our r/ship wont work at all_ **

**_Sorry_ **

**_To : yukkuri_ **

**_Nah, that’s cool_ **

**_Don’t apologize, pls_ **

Taeyong’s eyes forming a pool of tears, that he tries to hold it as he continues watching the tv. They’re done. Their 2 years relationship is done. Taeyong is probably too egoist to think that he’s the only one who’s hurt. Yuta might be had good reason for this. Yes, it has to be about their future, both as lover and as individual.

Taeyong quickly wipes his tears with his sleeves, and back to the tv. But his heart hurts so bad. He hardly breath and the tears forming up again on his eyeballs. His face feels numb and he don’t know how to laugh on the comedians on the screen.

“Tae? What’s happened?”, that’s it, Taeyong’s tears falling down through his cheeks and he cries so hard in Doyoung’s embrace.

***

The fireworks blow up in the sky, marking the opening of World Cup that been held in Pyeongchang Stadium. All of the visitor including the athletes cheering as the music inside the Stadium started. The performer from different countries has forming up in the middle of the field, facing the visitors. Some of them move here and there, some of them showing the great acrobatic skill.

No exception with Taeyong. It’s his first time to perform in the name of his country. It such an honour for him and his team. He of course feels so proud of himself this evening. All of the visitors again cheering for the performers as they end their performance. Not forgetting to bow to the visitors before go to the backstage.

With still high spirited, the team cheers as soon as they reach the backstage. Telling each other about how great they are, how hardworking they are, etc. Some of them drink water in between their conversation. Others taking picture while still in costume.

“Um, I gotta go to restroom.”, Taeyong says to his teammates.

He quickly walks (almost runs) to the restroom. Passing some staffs and some other performers, Taeyong finally reaches the restroom. He opens the door, and no one is there. He quickly gets into one of the stall and locks it. He finally can pee after holding it for minutes. Suddenly, he hears the door opens, following with footsteps. It’s probably staff or performer. He then back to his business. And then, as soon as he finishes it, he opens his stall to washes his hands. He walks passing the person and look at his reflection on the mirror.

“Oh, Taeyong?”, a familiar voice calling his name.

He looks on his right. And yes, apparently Yuta is standing besides him, washing his hands too. He quickly washes his hands and ready to leave the restroom, to avoids Yuta. He almost reaches the door when suddenly his arm being hold. He quickly shrugs but another hand holds the door.

“Tae…”, the voice behind him calling his name again.

Well, it’s really bad situation to be trapped with ex in the restroom. Especially this ex gave him the worst heartbreak of all time. The ex where asking for break up through text. The ex from 2 years relationship.

“What is it?”

“It’s… been awhile? I don’t expect to meet you here-“

“Uh, sorry, I really must go.”

Taeyong freed himself and walks out from the bathroom. Yuta’s sudden appearance gives him creeps instantly. What is Yuta doing in here? He’s not- Oh. Taeyong just realized that Yuta is national soccer player. That’s why he’s here. That’s why he accidentally met Taeyong. In fucking restroom, great.

“Okay guys, thank you for your hardwork. We’ll meeting again later on the closing of this event. Tonight, go home and get a good sleep before we meet later, okay? Good night!”, the coach clapping his hand and once again, Taeyong’s team cheering.

As soon as they done that, the team’s members are ready to leave the stadium. Taeyong checks his watch, it shows 10pm, which mean that he also need to go home quickly. He packs his stuffs and bid good bye to the remaining performers and staffs. He walks from his locker towards the exit door. As he opens the door, cold winter wind meets his face, blowing a bit of his fringe.

He tightens his coat and his scarf, then walks away. He still needs to walk for several metres, passing the parking lot before he actually leaves the stadium area. The wind once again blows his hair, revealing his forehead. It will be better for him to walk a bit faster, unless he wants to catch a cold. A bit more steps until he can reach the exit gate.

“Taeyong…”, Yuta stands near the gate.

Taeyong notices that figure, but he still keeps the pace of his steps. He tries to avoid Yuta as much as possible. Right when he passes the gate, Yuta approaches.

“Tae..”, Yuta grips on Taeyong’s arm stops him.

Taeyong sighs shakily. He doesn’t want to meet this _ex_ anymore. Enough for him to accidentally met Yuta in restroom.

“Let. Me. Go.”

“Taeyong, listen. Please…”

Taeyong face Yuta with eyes full of anger. And hurt. Taeyong doesn’t know what exactly his feeling is when he facing the man in front of him.

“What?”

“Tae, I um… Would you like to go with me? A cup of coffee will make it, I promise.”

Taeyong shrugs his arm, freed himself from Yuta’s grip. He’s not immediately answering him. He just stares him in the eyes.

“I’m sorry but I don’t drink coffee.”

“Oh, right, haha… Well, anything will be alri-“

“Can I leave now? I’m in hurry.”

Yuta shuts himself as soon as Taeyong finishes his sentence. Taeyong still looks at him, angrily, annoyed. The wind, again, blows his face, now a bit stronger.

“Then… Can I drive you home?”

Taeyong sighs heavily. Again, he looks back to Yuta, who seems hoping for him to say ‘yes’.

“No, I can walk myself.”

“But it’s already dark and it’s freezing cold. You sure you don’t want me-“

“No.”

Taeyong then quickly walks away from Yuta. Yuta is right, tonight is way too cold for him to walk to his place. But it’s the right decision for him to keep walk towards his place. He shouldn’t listen to Yuta after all.

It takes him around 20-30 minutes to reaches his apartment that he shares with Doyoung. He’s near to the apartment’s area, it’s only several metres before he actually reaches the front door of the building.

**_You got new message!_ **

**_From : Bunnyoung_ **

**_Are you already reach apartment?_ **

**_I just done buying groceries_ **

**_And forgot my key ;;_ **

**_Pls tell me you’re already there_ **

Taeyong smiles a bit as soon as he reads the message from his bestfriend. Well, at least he knows that he still has Doyoung to depend on. He then quickly replies the message.

**_To : Bunnyoung_ **

**_I am lmao_ **

**_Did you buy choco ice cream?_ **

He then clicks the send button on the screen. Then realized that he should enter the building because the temperature outside getting lower and lower. He probably need to make hot stew before Doyoung back.

“Tae!”, another familiar voice calls his name from behind.

He knows this voice, he knows it well. He really wishes it’s not that person he’s been thinking but he’s not sure either. Quickly, he turns his back and meet Yuta running towards him.

“What the fuck are you doing in here?”, Taeyong almost yells to Yuta who’s panting in front of him.

The younger just grins and stabilize his breath. Taeyong doesn’t know what to do, even though he can ditch this man and run to his place instead. Oh yes, Taeyong thought about that and quickly move before Yuta do something.

“Taeyong, wait, please.”, again, Yuta hold on Taeyong’s arm.

Damn, how many time did Taeyong should be in this situation today? How many time for Taeyong need to meet his fucking cursed ex today? Taeyong tries to shrug again but the grip is stronger now.

“Wh-what do you want? Huh?”

“I just… I just wanna ask you out, maybe not tonight, but tomorrow? Just… simply hang out in café or somewhere…”

Taeyong frowns as he can’t believe this man. What the fuck is he talking about? After ditching him three years ago, now he wants to ask him out? What on earth does this man thinking?

“LET YOUR FILTHY HAND OFF FROM HIM, NAKAMOTO YUTA!”

Doyoung’s voice snaps their attention. Both of them facing to the owner of the voice, still freeze in the same position. Doyoung quickly runs towards both of them to free Taeyong from Yuta’s grip.

“Doyoung? What-“

“Oh, hello, Nakamoto Yuta, didn’t I tell you to remove your hand from Taeyong?”

Hearing that, Yuta quickly let go Taeyong’s arm and clear his throat. Taeyong know that his roommate state of emotion is not good, soon or later he could kill somebody in this place.

“Hi, Doyoung. Been a while…”

“Haha, been a while huh? IT’S BEEN THREE FUCKING YEARS FOR YOU DITCHING MY BESTFRIEND, DUMBASS! WHY THE FUCK YOU BRING YOUR ASS IN HERE AND CHASING TAEYONG, HUH? IS IT NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU TO HURT HIM?”

Doyoung’s voice become louder as he wants to protect Taeyong. And of course, his loud voice draw attention to people around them. Taeyong already holds Doyoung’s hand and pulling him in, but Doyoung stand still as he’s not leaving his death glare to Yuta. Somebody will be dead tonight for sure.

“Doyoung, let’s just get inside…”

“Tae, go inside first and get a fucking knife, let me stab this douche so he won’t come in here again.”

“Dude, chill, I just want to talk with Tae-“

“DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE TO TOUCH HIM OR I’LL MAKE SURE THAT YOU’LL APPEAR IN TOMORROW MORNING NEWS!”

“Okay, okay! I’m leaving, jeez…”

Yuta walks away from them and reaches his car quickly. Doyoung’s hands are on his hips, with his eyes still glaring Yuta, angrily. After a while, Yuta’s car drives away from the parking lot and leaving the apartment area. Well, at least nobody should be dead tonight.

“Doyoung, come on…”

“That dickhead, how dare he showed up and approached you again? Anyway, you’re alright? He’s not doing anything to you right?”

“I’m fine, thanks. Let’s just go inside first and I’m gonna tell you the detail okay?”

***

Last night was overwhelming to Taeyong. As soon as they reached their place, Taeyong told all the details from when he met Yuta in the restroom until when Yuta followed him to the apartment. Hearing that, Doyoung wanting to beheaded that soccer player, throw the body to the river while the head will be on the forest. But luckily Yuta wasn’t so persistent, or else, he’ll be what Doyoung want him to be.

As Taeyong doing his side job as teacher in daycare, near his place, he remembers Doyoung reminded him about to always be careful of his surrounding, Yuta probably still in this town for several days, he said. Few more minute, the class will soon over, the children in the class busily packing their things before their parent pick them home.

“Teacher Yong, Teacher Yong! Hina wants to pee…”, a female student, with bob haircut and pink uniform pulling the end of Taeyong’s apron.

“Hina wanna go to toilet? Let’s go then, I’ll help you, okay?”, Taeyong offers his hand to the younger, gesturing her to hold his hand.

The small hand holds Taeyong’s hand tightly, as it is her first time to be accompany to toilet without her parents. Taeyong been teaching in that class for several months then realized that the children slowly grow up and soon he won’t meet them again.

“Teacher Yong, Hina now not using any diaper anymore! Hina’s mom said that Hina is already grown up, so there’s no need for Hina to use diaper again!”

“Hm, really? That’s great! Teacher Yong is so proud of Hina, Hina is such a good girl.”

Hina’s small giggles follows soon after Taeyong finished compliments her. Not so long, they reach the restroom, the one that quite close with the parents’ waiting room. Taeyong opens the door for Hina and let the little one in first.

“Teacher Yong, Hina is a girl, so Hina should do it myself.”

That statement makes Taeyong chuckles. He just nods and close a bit the door. He then leaning to the wall outside the restroom, as he waiting Hina finishes her business.

“Taeyong?”

“Yu-Yuta?”

Yuta is sitting on the bench in the waiting room. Last night incident suddenly replayed inside Taeyong’s head. He almost throws tantrum to Yuta, again. But as he’s in the daycare, he should stay calm and polite, so he won’t make any fuss.

“I…didn’t know that you work in here. Are you teaching in Jaemin’s class?”

“Jae-Jaemin? Oh, yeah, I do… Wha-What makes come here?”

“Oh, I’m picking up Jaemin. I thought the class is already over so… I come earlier.”

What? He sure that he had met with Jaemin’s parent before but… Is Yuta Jaemin’s parent? Was Yuta married to someone? But he never heard any news of him getting married. Taeyong’s head now full of questions about Yuta, he even doesn’t realize that Hina already come out from the restroom.

“Teacher Yong, let’s go back. Hina wants to take my bag.”, Hina pokes Taeyong’s thigh several times.

“Oh, Hina, let’s go then. Well, Yuta, I’m leaving first.”

Taeyong walks back to the class room as Hina holds his hand. The questions still lingering inside his head, like who’s the mother, or was Yuta divorced with Jaemin’s parent, and so on. After several steps, they reach the class, and all of the students already done packing their things, ready to go home.

“Okay, class, don’t forget your assignment for next week and wait for your parents to come pick you up.”, Taeyong also packs the absent list from the table and ready to leave the class.

He then remembers that Yuta is here for picking up Jaemin. He then looks for the younger, a boy that quite tall with bowl hair cut and bright smile. Jaemin apparently is near his locker, putting back some books inside before taking his bag out.

“Jaeminnie, your parent has waiting in the waiting room.”

“Really, Teacher Yong? Usually they gonna pick me a bit later.”

“Want me to take you there, Jaemin?”

“Alright then, thank you Teacher Yong!”

After bid good bye to his friends, Jaemin holds Taeyong’s hand and walk together to the waiting room. As Jaemin said that, Taeyong also questioning Yuta’s existence to Jaemin. Is it true then? Yuta married once then divorced?

“Ah! Uncle Yuta!”

Jaemin runs to his uncle and hugs him tightly. Yuta approached him with bright smile and hugs Jaemin back. Uncle? What does Jaemin means with uncle?

“Uncle Yuta, this is my teacher, Teacher Yong! Teacher Yong, this is my uncle, Uncle Yuta! Uncle Yuta is really good at soccer, I want to be like him later when I grow up!”

“Teacher Yong? Nice to meet you then.”

Yuta offers his hand towards Taeyong. The smile still plastered on his face as he waits for Taeyong to takes his hand. Taeyong gulps then takes Yuta’s hand and shakes it several times. He can’t see Yuta in the eyes, since he doesn’t know how to feel about this situation.

“So… You’re Jaemin’s uncle? Where’s his parent?”

“Yes, since my cousin can’t pick him up, she asked me to pick him up instead.”

Taeyong awkwardly smile and let go Yuta’s hand. It’s really weird, for meeting with him again, especially after last night incident. They’re standing awkwardly as they face each other. Taeyong wants to go back to the class room, but Jaemin is still there with his uncle.

“Well, it really nice to meet you here. Then, I’ll go first. Let’s go Jaemin, say goodbye to Teacher Yong.”

“Good bye, Teacher Yong. Thank you for accompany me to here.”

Jaemin hugs Taeyong once and waves hand before he leaves with Yuta. Yuta’s smile still plastered on his face as his eyes falls on to Taeyong. He waits Jaemin to bid goodbye on his teacher before go.

“Then, Teacher Yong, have a good day.”

Yuta bows a bit (still with that smile) as he takes Jaemin’s hand. They then walk out of the place and leave. Taeyong’s legs feels wobbly. He almost falls to the floor as he still shocked after meeting with Yuta. Again. For 4th time after their last meeting. Doyoung was right, he should be careful on his surrounding, since Yuta will pop up anytime, anywhere, wherever he is.

***

“Good afternoon, Teacher Yong. I’m here, _again_ , to pick Jaemin up.”

Yuta is in the waiting room again, with that smile on his face, greets Taeyong in front of him. It’s already the 9th time for Yuta picking Jaemin up from the daycare. Taeyong can’t believe this man, anymore. Even though his excuse is not wrong, but that damned smile seems have other meaning, more than just a polite smile. Especially because Yuta always personally calls Taeyong (not accidentally meet him like last time) just for informing him that he _picks_ Jaemin up.

“O-oh? Yes, I’m… gonna get Jaemin ready.”

Taeyong quickly turns his body, ready to leave the room. Right before he steps out the room, Yuta’s hand grips his arm, making him stop, _again_. Taeyong sighs heavily, waiting Yuta to speak up.

“Taeyong… I… miss you… a lot…”, Yuta says, softly.

Taeyong stay still, as he can feel heat behind his body. Taeyong hopes that this is not like what he is thinking, hopefully he’s wrong. But suddenly, a pair of arms wrap on Taeyong’s waist, gently. The sudden contact makes Taeyong’s body jolts and he quickly releases himself from Yuta.

“I-I-I should tell Jaemin. E-excuse me.”

Taeyong quickly runs to the class room for calling Jaemin. As he runs, he can feel his heart beats messily. Also, his eyes feel burning and watery. And his face too, feels burning as well. The classroom is not too far but it feels like forever to him to reaches the class room. He almost cries but he tries his best to not cries in front of his students. He doesn’t know why, he’s confused with his own feeling towards Yuta. He hurts but at the same time he’s also happy about it. He just doesn’t know.

“Taeyongie? What’s happened?”

Taeil finds Taeyong sit in front of the classroom’s door, crying. His hand is on the handle but he can’t pull it down as he feels hurt inside. It feels like something stab his chest, hard. He can’t stop sobbing while Taeil approaches.

“Taeyong… Shhh… It’s okay, just let it out… I’m gonna take care of your students, you can take a rest in the office, okay? Shhh… It’s alright…”

Taeil pats Taeyong’s back as Taeyong buried his face on Taeil’s chest. Silent sobs come out from Taeyong, as he tries to calm himself. This is truly embarrassing, crying in his workplace which also full of kids. He can’t face the kids anymore, if they find him in this state. Taeil then helps him stand up and take him to the office.

“Tae-Taeil-hyung… Please tell Jaemin th-that… his parent is coming.”

Taeyong is back with swollen eyes and red nose. He goes home a bit later than usual so Doyoung won’t found out this state of him, but he’s failed. Doyoung always know anything about Taeyong, literally anything, he’s like a Google for Taeyong. As Taeyong expected, Doyoung will tries to comfort him, like feed him with sweets, cleans the entire apartment, or watching movies with him. Taeyong is grateful to be surrounded with friend like him in his life. He can’t imagine his life without Doyoung beside him.

“Again? He come again? With the same excuse? Did he just ask to be beheaded by me?”

Taeyong giggles as hearing that. He knows Doyoung can’t be serious about his desires to beheading Yuta, hopefully. Taeyong sits on the couch with warm soup on his laps. Apparently Doyoung learned on how to make chicken cream soup from Youtube. And it suits his tastes the best.

“Well, as long as you home, sounds and safe, I still spare his life. But Tae, if anything happened, just talk to me, okay? I don’t want to see you with these swollen eyes and hoarse throat and still saying that you’re fine.”

Doyoung sits beside him, putting two mugs filled with chamomile tea on the table. Taeyong sips more soups from the spoon, warms up his throat and his stomach. Doyoung on his side munching some chips as he watches the tv in front of him. Taeyong stares but back to his soup again.

“What is it, Tae? Tell me, I know that you want to talk something.”

Bingo, Doyoung is right, again. No, he always right basically. Taeyong then puts the bowl on the table and drink some of the tea from the mug. He arranges the words inside his head before actually tells Doyoung the truth, tells Doyoung what’s happened today.

“Well, um… You shouldn’t mad okay?”

“Okay, go on.”

“Earlier, in the daycare…. He… He said that he missed me…”

“Hmph, that’s so lame. Did he also said that he’s wrong?”

“Uh, no… But… But he… He hugged me… From behind…”

Doyoung faces Taeyong, quickly, with eyes widen. Also with his eyebrows furrowing. If Taeyong knows that that expression is not Doyoung’s angry stage, he probably already takes a picture of it, or maybe two. He can hear the tv is turned off as Doyoung open his ear for Taeyong’s story.

“He what?”

“He hugged me, Doyoung. I… I honestly don’t know what to do at that time… But I released myself, of course, since he’s there for Jaemin…”

“Then?”

“Then I cried, a lot… Like you can see it how swollen my eyes are…”

Taeyong sips more tea, he also handing Doyoung’s mug to the owner. Doyoung gulps the tea furiously (and the tea is hot). He then sighs and massages his forehead. Doyoung seems speechless after hearing that. Well, Doyoung is so silent at the moment so Taeyong assumes that he’s speechless, basically.

“So, I cried, like a lot, because I’m so confused about myself, or my feeling. It hurts, at first, like really hurt so bad. But there’s a slight, a tiny itsy bitsy feeling of happiness and relieved, I guess. I just… don’t know how to feel about it, that’s why I cried…”

“That motherfucker really wants to be the headline huh? If I was there, I already burn him alive and sweep his ashes away to the trash bin.”

“Doyoung.”

“What?! Taeyong, listen. Me, as your best friend, just wants the best for you. I don’t want you to be hurted by that son of bitch, okay? Just please, be safe, Tae. Both your body and your mind, yeah?”

Doyoung hands are on Taeyong’s shoulders. Doyoung shakes a bit of Taeyong’s body, like he wants to wakes Taeyong up from his daydreaming. Taeyong holds both of Doyoung’s hands and look him to the eyes.

“Doyoung, thank you, so so much. I’ll make sure that Yuta won’t hurts me in any way, I promise.”

***

Another day for Taeyong done teaching in his class. As always, the class is done at 11.30 am, the students already packing their stuffs and ready to go home. And as always, Taeyong will expect someone to call him for meeting in the waiting room.

“Good bye, Teacher Yong!”

One by one his students bid him a good bye, as their parents already there to pick them up. But today is really strange. He checks the time, it’s already 01.20 pm, which is weird for Yuta not come to pick Jaemin up.

“Jaeminnie, when will your parent pick you up?”

“Hm… I don’t know, Teacher Yong…”

The boy back focusing on his car toy and moves it back and forth. And Taeyong just realized that Jaemin is the only student who still in the classroom. Yes, it is weird since Yuta usually always comes early to pick Jaemin up.

“Jaemin-ah! Appa is sorry…”

A male voice snaps Taeyong and Jaemin’s attention. He’s not Yuta, apparently. Taeyong slightly hope it was Yuta, but it’s Jaemin’s dad. Jaemin runs towards his dad and hugs him tightly. Just the same like he usually does when Yuta comes. Oh shit, how many times Yuta appears inside Taeyong’s head?

“Uh, hello, I’m Jaemin’s father, my name is Ji Hansol. You’re must be…”

“Ah, the students called me Teacher Yong. I’m Lee Taeyong, Jaemin’s homeroom teacher.”

“Oh yes, Taeyong, thank you so much for taking care of Jaemin. I’m sure that he made lots of trouble on you, didn’t he?”

“Oh, no no no, Jaemin is a really good student, he never made any fuss in here, right Jaeminnie?”

Jaemins nods hard as he assuring his dad. Hansol just rises his eyebrows as he doesn’t sure if Jaemin is right, but he let it slides since Taeyong is the one who tells about it.

“Appa, appa… Where is uncle Yuta? Why he’s not picking me up?”

“Uncle Yuta has important soccer match today, so he can’t pick you up, sweet heart.”

Taeyong can sees Jaemin sadness as soon as hears that. Well, Taeyong too feels sad as well. But he denies it, like why would he feels sad just because he can’t meet Yuta? Yuta has work to do though, it’s not something small.

“So Jaeminnie, wanna go home now? Tonight, eomma will cook us lots of delicious food!”

“She will? Appa, can we invite Teacher Yong to have dinner with us?”

Jaemin suddenly requesting his teacher to join his family’s dinner night. Hansol just smiles and sees Taeyong, asking him for his agreement.

“Well, actually we can but Teacher Yong probably busy tonight, Appa can’t promise you.”

“Teacher Yong, do you want to have dinner with us? Eomma will cook you lots of food, so don’t worry about it!”

“Bu-But… Jaeminnie, you need your mom approval about this… Teacher Yong doesn’t want to interrupt your family’s dinner…”

“Worry not, Taeyong, I’m sure that my wife will agree with us. Besides, just take this as our gratitude for you for taking care of Jaemin all this time, okay?”

Taeyong takes taxi for his place to Jaemin’s house. Well, at the end he can’t say no to his student. Besides, as Hansol said earlier, it’s like a gratitude. The traffic is not so packed, so he only needs 20 minutes to reach Jaemin’s house. He’s nervous, of course, since he used to meet student’s parent in the daycare, instead of in their own house. Taeyong keep checking his watch repeatedly, making sure that he’s not late for the dinner.

“Sir, we already arrived to destination.”, the driver says as he looks at Taeyong through the mirror(?).

Taeyong hears that, he then taking some cash from his wallet and gives it to the driver. He quickly gets off of the taxi and facing the front door of the house. It’s quite nice yet compact house. Not too big, not too small, perfect for small family. He breaths in before he pushes the bell button near the door. Muffled step foot sound coming from inside, as soon as he pushes the bell. Not so long, a well dressed lady opens the door for Taeyong. She’s must be Jaemin’s mother, Taeyong’s mind.

“Oh, good evening! You’re must be Teacher Yong. Please come inside, it’s cold outside.”

As she said that, Taeyong walks into the house. Jaemin’s mother already prepared the slipper for Taeyong to wear inside the house. She seems excited for Taeyong’s appearance in her house, her smile is always there since Taeyong come.

“Sorry for interrupt…”, Taeyong says as soon as he steps in further.

Food fragrance coming from his right side, following with sizzling sound, she probably fries something. On the left side, Taeyong can see lots of toys and child paintings, probably belongs to Jaemin. He smiles on himself as walks further in.

“Teacher Yong! You’re coming!”, Jaemin runs towards Taeyong and hugs Taeyong legs.

Taeyong giggles as he sees Jaemin coming for him. Jaemin always be that high-spirited kid everywhere apparently. Jaemin then pulls Taeyong’s hand and leads him to the dining room, let him sits on one of the chair. Taeyong says thanks to Jaemin as soon as his butt stick to the chair. Jaemin’s mother then coming from the kitchen, bringing some plates filled with food.

“Pardon my rudeness, Teacher Yong, I haven’t introduced myself. My name is Sayaka Umi, I’m Jaemin’s mother, well, you probably already know that.”

Jaemin’s mom just laughs as she done puts those plates. She looks like Jaemin, a lot, like the smile and the eyes, her features basically resembling Jaemin. Taeyong feels welcomed in this place, he glads. Jaemin’s mom quickly disappear to the kitchen again, probably helping her husband, leaving Taeyong alone in the dining table. He can hear both Hansol and Umi arguments in kitchen, which sounds funny and makes him smiles. He kinda missed those moment where he used to have small arguments with Yuta. Suddenly, someone rings the bell. Taeyong wonders who’s this another guest besides him.

“I’ll get it!”, Jaemin says it loud as he quickly runs to the door.

Taeyong’s attention is still on the couple. Hansol big figure looks less dominance besides his wife, which also looks funny. But at the end, those arguments change into laughter.

“Appa! Eomma! Uncle Yuta is here!”, Jaemin’s voice snaps Taeyong attention.

He said what? Yuta? Yuta is here? How unlucky Taeyong is this month, meeting Yuta for many times in some places, and now he can’t run from Yuta.

“Ah, Umi-nee, sorry for being late.”, Taeyong doesn’t turns around, as he doesn’t want Yuta to know his existence in there.

“Nah, you’re not late, glad you can make it even though your schedule is so tight.”

Taeyong can feel Yuta getting closer to his place. He decides to stay still and not greets Yuta, but that sounds impossible. Since they already knew each other from years ago, also Jaemin introduced him in the daycare, how great.

“Uncle Yuta, guess who’s joining us tonight?”

“Who? Is it Kamen Rider? Uncle really wants to meet him in person!”

“No, Uncle Yuta, Kamen Rider is so busy saving people. He can’t come here yet.”

“Ah… Too bad…  So, who is- oh, Taeyong. I-I mean, Teacher Yong, hi.”

Hearing his name called, Taeyong turns to Yuta. Both could feel the awkwardness around them. Nor Taeyong nor Yuta initiate to greets each other. They’re just stare at each other in silence. Yuta then take a seat, besides Taeyong, as Jaemin sits at the end of the table.

“Okay! Since all of the guest are already here, it’s mean that we could eat now!”, Hansol says as he come bringing some plates to the table.

The dinner ends peacefully, all the food that been served already finished. Taeyong feels his stomach full that he doesn’t know if he could fit another meal inside. Jaemin already off to the bathroom for brushing his teeth since it’s close to his bedtime.

“Let me clean the dishes then.”, Taeyong stands up from his seat and taking the dirty dishes from the table.

Yuta’s hand stops Taeyong’s as he shakes his head. He looks at Taeyong and taking the dishes from Taeyong. Then continue taking other remaining dishes.

“I’m gonna clean these, you just sit there.”

“But, Yuta, I-“

“It’s okay, I can do it myself.”

Yuta then disappear to the kitchen with the dirty dishes. Taeyong feels bad, as he’s been fed by the family but he’s done nothing in return. He then brings the glass the left on the table to the sink.

“Tae?”

“You forgot Jaemin’s glass.”

Taeyong silently scrub the glass with the sponge as Yuta silently stare him. It’s been a while since they standing this close to each other. It feels warm and comfortable even though they only washing dishes.

“There’s still some sauce on the plate. You should rinse it with water before use the sponge.”

“Nah, the soap will clean the sauce.”

“It won’t, Yuta. Here, let me show you.”

In minutes, they finally done with the dishes. Taeyong now wipes the table and rearrange the chair. Well at least these can pay enough for the food he ate. Besides, he loves cleaning, a lot.

“You shouldn’t worry about the dishes, Teacher Yong. You’re here as guest.”

“No no no, it’s okay, really, at least I can pay you back for your meals, Hansol.”

Hansol’s laugh filling the room, soon as Taeyong done said that. He then pats Taeyong’s back as he tries to stop laughing.

“No wonder why my son really likes you. Every day, he always telling me about you, Teacher Yong this, Teacher Yong that. He really likes to be taught by you.”

“He did? I’m glad to hear that.”

“And uh, thank you, for coming, Taeyong. It such pleasure for us to be able repay your hard work.”

Hansol smiles and then he walks towards his wife who just came out from Jaemin’s bedroom. The time already shows 9pm, which mean Jaemin probably already sleep. It’s time for Taeyong to leave the house.

“Taeyong, you’re leaving?”

Yuta asks as Taeyong putting his coat and scarf. Taeyong looks at Yuta, confused.

“Yes, why?”

“I uh… Let me drive you home then.”

“What? No, it’s okay. I can call taxi.”

“No, Tae, I’m not sure if taxi still operate in this winter night.”

Yuta puts his hand on Taeyong’s shoulder, staring him worriedly. Taeyong just freeze in place, as he doesn’t know how to refuse Yuta’s offer. Then, both Jaemin’s parents approach them.

“Well, Yuta is right. Besides, you can cut your budget if Yuta drives you home.”

“Yeah, like Hansol said. Let me drive you, okay?”

Taeyong looks at Yuta then at Jaemin’s parents. He can’t help it. He then just nods and accept Yuta’s offer. Then they bid goodbye to both Jaemin’s parents and leave the place with Yuta’s car. Taeyong bets that this ride will be awkward as hell. He’ll ask Yuta to put him on nearest convenience store, so he can just walk off to his place.

But as Yuta drives further, Taeyong’s head feels light and it drives him to sleep. Yuta on his side notice it and decide to let the latter sleep. The silence surrounding them but Yuta likes it since Taeyong is on his side. After minutes driving, the car stops somewhere. Taeyong then notice that the machine is stop and then he wakes up.

“Hm? Where are we?”

“You’re awake? We’re… in my place.”

“Your place? But you know my place, right? Why don’t you drive me there?”

“First… I don’t wanna meet your friend, yet. I’m afraid he will kill me as soon as he sees me.”

“Okay, then?”

“Second… I… have something to talk with you. But, let’s talk inside. It’s freezing cold in here.”

Taeyong just nods agree and unbuckle his seat belt. After taking his stuffs with him, he then follows Yuta to get inside the building. He honestly never now that Yuta has apartment in this town. As expected, rich people. They walk for several times and reach the elevator. Yuta presses the 10th floor button. Before the elevator close its door, a guy with huge loads gets inside the elevator. The distance between Yuta and Taeyong getting closer. Their body basically press each other.

“Sorry.”

“Can’t help it tho.”

Yuta giggles as Taeyong finishes his word. The elevator then brings them upwards. Their body still press to each other, as Taeyong is leaning to the wall while Yuta facing him and his hand rest beside Taeyong. As the elevator moving up, they always meet in the eyes but then look away. Or sometimes the guy moves his load and making their skin touching. It feels like forever as they staying in that position. Then Taeyong looking at the floor screen.

4th, 5th, 6th…

The elevator getting closer to their destination. But they should stay in that position for a bit more. As Taeyong look away, he can feel warm breath on his skin. He quickly looks at Yuta again, founding him with trace of sweat on his forehead. Taeyong’s hand moving by itself, wipes Yuta’s forehead with his thumb.

Ding!

The elevator stops on floor 9th, and the guy finally goes off, bringing is his load too. Finally, they can get their own spaces. The elevator’s door closes and Yuta walks away from Taeyong. Both now facing the door, silence.

“Sorry, for earlier.”

Yuta speaks up but he still put his eyes on the door. The elevator moves up, again, and in no time, they finally arrive on floor 10th. They quickly walk out of the elevator to Yuta’s place. They turn to the right, then walk through the hallway. At the end of the hallway, there’s a window, showing the dark night as the snow decorate the edge of the window. They continue walking and finally reach Yuta’s place.

“Come in.”

Yuta says as he opens the door for Taeyong. A bit shy but Taeyong walks into the room. Been a long time for Taeyong for receiving that kind of act. Taeyong walks further in and find not so big apartment, but it’s enough for one person to live in here.

“I’m sorry that my place is a bit…. messy…”, Yuta takes off his shoes and put down his coat to the hanger.

Yuta rushes into the kitchen part and opens the fridge. Meanwhile Taeyong, he takes a mini tour around the room. His eyes wander to here and there, look around the stuffs that Yuta has. There’s a shelf, full of Yuta’s trophies and medals and also certificates. Seems that Yuta been achieving those for past 3 years, Taeyong’s thought.

“Tae, wanna drink something? Tea or hot chocolate or water, perhaps?”

“Warm water will be enough.”

“Got it.”

Taeyong still looks around until his eyes fall to one glass cabinet. On top of it, he founds several pictures, which is pictures from their high school time. They met in their 3rd year, since Yuta needed help with his study. Then they met in the library, because Yuta recognized Taeyong as that smartass student. After that, Taeyong helped Yuta and they developed feelings. It was a nice memory for Taeyong to remember, only if Yuta wasn’t that dumb. His eyes then looking to the 1st level of the cabinet, and found a polaroid camera along with some other pictures. Pictures of both of them, smiling happily.

“Why don’t you just take a seat Tae?”, Yuta says with two mugs on both of his hands.

“Oh, yes, thanks.”

Taeyong sits on the left side of the couch as he takes one mug from Yuta. He recognizes this mug. It was the mug that they bought once they gone to Universal Studio in Japan. Yuta said that he resembled Minion, a lot. Like they way he talked, the way he behaved, everything. He ended up bought Taeyong a minion mug.

“You still have this?”, Taeyong turning the mug back and forth, as he doesn’t believe it.

“Well I… Uh… Yeah… You left this when I was still in Seoul… A while ago…”, Yuta says a bit stuttered.

“Oh. I see.”

Then they become silent. Only slurping sound as they sip the liquid from their mugs. No one dare to speak up, no one. Taeyong doesn’t even dare to initiate a conversation, as Yuta said that he has something to talk with him.

“So… How’s life?”

“Well, it’s alright? I guess, nothing much really happened. How… about you?”

“Same with me. Just busy practicing for upcoming match and having matches. Nothing much, perhaps.”

Taeyong sips the content from the mug. He basically doesn’t what to ask anymore. It’s super awkward for them to be in one same room, then sit together on the couch. Especially they don’t really talk before, like real talk, not even when dinner.

“And uh… Have you meet someone? Li-like after breaking up with me…”

“I… haven’t meet anybody, I’m too busy with my life as dance and teacher. How about you?”

“I kinda… have meet someone… Lately…”

Taeyong turns silent. Well, he didn’t expect that. He should be aware that Yuta and his athlete’s life can mean that he has meet any kinds of person, perhaps women, since Yuta has mentioned that he’s bi. Taeyong then gulps the water until the mug is empty. And put it to the coffee table, as he’s ready to leave.

“I-uh… I have to leave.”

Taeyong stands up and walks passing Yuta to the front door. He then can feel Yuta hold his hand and makes him stop. He honestly feels that feeling again, the feeling where he can cry anytime soon. But he doesn’t want Yuta to see him cry, not tonight, not here. He just standing as he waits Yuta to talks.

“Taeyong… Please…”

“What?”

Yuta stands up from his seat and brings him to hug. A really tight hug that can make Taeyong suffocates. But Taeyong doesn’t shrugs nor hugging back Yuta. He basically doesn’t know what to do, what to feel. It seems so wrong for him but yet so right.

“Taeyong, I… I never thought that losing you, for this long time, can make me this crazy. I know how dumb was I back then and I am so sorry. I was an idiot that deserves to be punished but losing you is already torturing for me.”

Yuta says as he buried his head to Taeyong’s shoulder. His voice was muffled but Taeyong still can hear him clearly. He truly doesn’t know how to feel about this. He’s afraid that he will be hurt again, like before. But he really craves Yuta’s presence in his life, for three damn years. He never knows that Yuta is also the same with him in this thing. He then can feel his clothes wet and hearing silent sobs from his side.

“Yuta? Are you… crying?”

Yuta that he knows was not a cry baby. Yuta barely cried, even to sad movies and stuffs. But this… Is the first time for Taeyong to see him crying, in person. Taeyong feels bad about this as Yuta didn’t continue talking. He then brings his hand to Yuta’s back and pats it. Then gently rub it in circular motion.

“I-I just… w-want you to know… t-that.. If-if I was living in other time, you’ll be the one who I loved.”

Yuta choked on his words as he still crying in Taeyong’s hug. Oh crap, Taeyong is really weak with this. He can’t see someone cry in front of him, and he basically will cry too. How great.

“Y-You do?”

Like Yuta, Taeyong also choked up on his word. He’s really bad at holding his tears. Well, he doesn’t care anymore. He just wanna the tears to fucking leaves his eyeball.

“Always, Tae.”

Yuta then lifts his head and looks at Taeyong in the eyes. Taeyong then cries as soon as his eyes meets Yuta. Then, it’s Taeyong turns to cries in Yuta’s embrace.

“Taeyong?”

“You… asshole… making me wait for 3 years so that I can hear you said that…”

Hearing that making Yuta grins wide. Well, they apparently still love each other, when at first they thought they hate each other. Taeyong still sobs on Yuta’s shirt, leaving his shirt wet. Yuta then takes turn to calming Taeyong, rubbing his back and kiss on the top of his head.

“I’m sorry.”

“I hate you.”

“Why?”

“Because I also still love you and I can’t forget you.”

Hearing that, Yuta then lifts Taeyong’s face to meet his. Taeyong already pouts with his eyes full of tears and his nose become red. He wishes that he can take his phone out and capture this face of Taeyong.

“What did you say?”

“I hate you, dumbass.”

“No no, after that, you still love me?”

“Duh, what do you think I was saying?”

Yuta smiles wide as he hears that. With Taeyong’s face trapped in both of Yuta’s hands, he can’t move away. Yuta then still stares him in the eyes, he seems hoping something.

“Then, can I kiss you?”

***

**Author's Note:**

> first of all, this fics wont become a fics if it's not because of Nayong127, so thank you for giving me the ideas through the dm ehehe *winks*
> 
> and, to all of the readers, who always giving good feedbacks to my works, yall awesome, the last fics was 700+ hits? oh wow, yall amazing hahahaha
> 
> and also, I MISS YUTAE SO BAD, hopefully we will got those contents when they promoting in Japan on April. AND PLS SUPPORT FOR NCT'S UPCOMING DEBUT/UNIT, THEY DESERVE THE WORLD HONESTLY ;;;;;
> 
> as always, pls leave your comments on the comment box below, it can be either suggestion, critiques, or even shout outs to my typos and false grammar lol (just shout out, dont worries) or you can do that to my twitter acc @chenlemyeon, since my dm is always open lmao
> 
> ONCE AGAIN THANK YOU FOR SPEND YOUR TIME READING MY FICS, I LOVE YALL~~


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